2015 Recap – The Year of Heck Yeah! And why the heck not? – Kitsap Family Documentary Photographer

It’s late December which means it’s the time of the year where everyone is posting their yearly recap.  And it’s great!  It’s so wonderful to see friends take a moment and deservedly revel in what they have accomplished this year.  I’ve even read a few that made mention of where the author fell short for one reason or another and that deserves a big, old, high five for honesty and transparency.  Naturally, it’s all lead me to reflect on my own year and as I tallied up the highlights of my year I started questioning if these highlights were really accomplishments.  I mean, I have had a really phenomenal year.  Like the type of year you are reluctant to see go because, holy crap, 2016 has some big freaking shoes to fill.  But really it seems like such an undeniable element of the cool things I’ve done this year has been just plain, dumb, luck.

It really started to bum me out a little.  Sure I met some goals this year, but I really didn’t feel like I struggled to accomplish them, I just decided to make them happen.  A tick in the to-do box.  Which sounds like the world’s biggest humble brag, but hear me out.  Previously, it felt like every little success I had was the result of scratching and clawing and hand wringing and blood and sweat and tears.  This year felt different.  Then, it slowly started to dawn on me that this year felt different because of a subtle but powerful shift in my attitude.  I grew a bit more confident, I took more ownership of my decisions, and I said “hell yes” a whole heck of a lot more.  Basically, as my iPhone would tell you, I truly started to give zero ducks. As a result, amazing things happened.  Here’s the top 10 things that happened this year that were the direct result of throwing a bit of caution to the wind and saying why the hell not.

1. I helped start Sham of the Perfect. This actually goes way back to December 2014 when Lacey posted about wanting to join or, perhaps, start a collaborative project. I chimed in with with online equivalent of waving, jumping up and down, and yelling, “Me! Me! Pick me!” and simultaneously Natasha responded to the comment thread with the same response.  12 months and probably about a bajillion Facebook messages later, I can proudly say I founded and admin a well-received artistic project with some dedicated followers and a solid artistic mission.  Best of all, I’ve built friendships with two incredible gals who have helped push me forward by leaps and bounds this year.
2. I submitted more work, more frequently, without agonizing over what a “no thank you” would mean, because, “why the hell not?”.  I got rejected in one form or another several times.  I got over it quickly and submitted again.  But in addition several single images being featured I won a contest, and had features run on Goldfish and Giggles as well as Fearless and Framed.
3. I really leaned into moving my business into the artistic direction I want it to go, because if I don’t say “hell yes” to what I want to do, no one else will.  And, ironically, this involved the occasional “no” to potential clients or opportunities.  Turning down work is something no creative ever actually wants to do, but if it’s not a good fit.  It’s not a good fit.  I only feel outrageously fortunate that I have the ability to be selective and steer this ship where I want it to go.
   
4. We remodeled our kitchen.  Not photography related, I know.  But still a major accomplishment because we did it ourselves.  I  seriously lack confidence in things with which I have no experience (like remodeling) and will just automatically throw money at anything if I’m scared I’ll screw it up.  My husband, on the other hand, well…. the force is strong with that one.  So when he, out of the blue, decided we were going to remodel the kitchen ourselves during the two weeks before he left on deployment my gut reaction was, “Bro, do you really think that’s realistic?”  But, at the end of the day I said “yes”.  And now we have a new kitchen with only a few aesthetic elements still needing to be tended to.
5. I rarely enter online giveaways but this spring I said “why they hell not” and ended up winning a 3 week mentorship with the amazing Lauren Mitchell who’s work I could look at all day.  We emailed, and chatted and I tackled a few really challenging photography exercises and it was awesome.  The resulting images can be found here and here.
6. I networked more.  I met people in real life that I had initially met through various photography groups.  I more actively engaged with photographers I greatly admire online.  For someone who is basically incapable of benign small talk and is totally baffled by online social rules, this was a big deal for me.
7. I finagled my way into a test run of 6 week mentorship program combining yoga and self expression.  Full disclosure, I’m a little behind on the last two weeks BUT it’s been so incredible to be guided in something that isn’t directly photography related.  I can suffer from a bit of tunnel vision and let my other hobbies fall to the wayside. Additionally, it’s really shifted my attitude toward yoga, a practice I dearly love but have a hard time keeping up with, and has made the practice more accessible to me.  So now when I add “practice yoga more often” to my goal sheet for 2016 I now have real chance of following through.
   
8. I planned and executed a trip to Malaysia on the fly.  My husband had a port call in the Malaysian state of Sabah on the island of Borneo and I had the opportunity to meet him there.  It would have been really easy for me to say no, stay home, and ride out the remainder of the deployment.  Instead I say yes.  I very humbly asked my mother to come stay with my son for the 10 days I would be gone and I bought tickets and made things happen in a matter of days.  I’m still amazed I pulled it off.
9. I survived solo parenting my 3 year old during my husband’s 4.5 month deployment.  There were days that were downright ugly.  Really ugly.  I may need to repair a door hinge still from all the slamming that happened.  But we made it through, more or less, unscathed and I’m certain it was because I convinced myself it was going to be a positive experience.  Kiddo and I flew home for a week, we met with friends in Portland for a weekend, we went out for lots coffee dates, and got donuts probably more often than we should have.  Like I said, unscathed.
10. I applied to a couple “pro” programs.  This had been a long term goal of mine and early this year I went through my Lightroom catalogues and threw keywords on my stronger images. Then, one day during the summer I pulled those images all into a new catalogue, specifically for my application.  Then, life kept happening. Applying got shoved to the back burner.  I didn’t join a prep group to have any of these images reviewed by my peers.  I didn’t do a formal portfolio review with any sort of mentor or friend.  Well, then I blinked and it became late November.  It was too late to start a more formal prep process, especially when I knew getting peer reviews would lead to lots of second guessing on my part.  I knew I’d be more pissed at letting another year go by without applying than I would be at getting a rejection notice.  So I said why they hell not? I sat down for a couple hours one night, pulled together a portfolio of 150 images from my catalogue of about 250 earmarked images, slightly tweaked maybe 2 images, paid my money, and clicked submit.  And you know what?  I got accepted into CMpro. My scores barely got me in, but I got in.  So I’m taking it.

So here we go. 2015, you’ve been great and I’m sorry to see you go.  2016, gird your loins, I’m ready to dance.